Moving is one of life’s major stressors at any age. Families should be aware that moving a parent often times is surrounded by other major life stressors. As we age the losses seem to gang up on us, loss of health, loss of a spouse, or loss of friends. Losing our home of 20 plus years is another major change and loss. Families need to be sensitive to what circumstances surround their parents’ move.
1. Minimize the degree of change. When changing residences try to stay in the same geographical area. This allows familiarity with the necessary supports of grocery stores, pharmacies, medical offices, churches, and community.
2. Minimize the change of the immediate environment. Recreate the same comfort zones from their former home to their new home. If they have been getting out of bed on the right side for the last 20 years, set up the new bedroom the same. Put things away in cabinets, refrigerators, drawers, etc. the same as much is humanly possible.
3. Honor the person and their possessions. But, again, taking into account the other losses associated with aging, this downsizing can represent loss. Downsizing is not easy for anyone. It is important for the older adult to be in control of the move and the decisions involved. Give your parents choices and honor their decisions. Example. The entire dining room set will not fit in your new home. You can take the china hutch and get a smaller table or you can take the table and get a smaller china hutch. Which would you like to do?
4. Identify their treasures both sentimental and of monetary value. Take as many as possible. Have an agreed upon plan for what will happen to each treasure. Family is doing a great service by accepting these special items. Knowing these treasures have a good home offers great peace of mind.
5. Focus on the person moving and what they are going to take. That is what is important. Often families put all their energy into what is not being moved.
6. Be realistic. It is normal to be overwhelmed when facing 20 plus years of accumulation. Set timelines and assign tasks. Break things down to manageable assignments; possibly tackle a room at a time.
7. Have a plan. Be specific and identify what is to be moved, where it is gong to go. and who is going to be responsible for all the details. Be more concerned about the function and safety of things verses the beauty.
8. Seek outside professional help. Be realistic of your parent’s capabilities and your own. If you haven’t moved in 20 plus years, you are not an expert at relocation. Seek the support of a professional Senior Move Manager.
9. Be prepared to commit. Your parents will need emotional and physical support throughout the moving process and for at least 90 days thereafter through the adjustment process.
10. Be good to each other. Take the time to reminisce and enjoy your family history. Often moving a lifetime unveils traditions, stories, and treasures that could have been lost or forgotten.
Source: GeroSolutions, www.gerosolutionsinc.com
|